Oh Christmas.

Only when I was a child did CHRISTMAS stir me. Olde with no family has changed that for many a year now. Always glad when it's over.

What I want for Christmas.

Won't be going anywhere for the holiday. What I do want for Christmas is the motivation to get this apartment really cleaned and organized. It's a disgrace. I know I'm depressed, but5 I have to snap out of it.

Moms going online to share breast milk – The Chart - CNN.com Blogs

Moms going online to share breast milk – The Chart - CNN.com Blogs

This is absolutely stupid and irresponsible.

Now.  I've two cigarettes left and the logical thing to do would be to bundle up and go out into the freezing weather and buy more. I'm not going to.  As I'm not going to drink.  It's insane to go out in this cold for a filthy addiction.  There have been time I've gone without for a day or two due to not being able to afford them.  I have the money, but the point is, I can live without them for tonight.

Spending very little time online.  Haven't been on Facebook in about five days, and don't miss it.

Been reading a lot and enjoying that.

Under The Weather

Still feeling under the weather. My appetite is increasing ever so slightly, however I feel ill every time I eat. Coughing here and there. Not very productive one. Trying to keep hydrated and best of all I'm not drinking, which would be the worst thing for my health right now.
Not much use of going online. Reading a good book and enjoying relaxing. For some reason, after sleeping all day, I find I feel much better much later in the evening, which is very welcome, indeed.

Managing to Manage

I managed about four days without a cocktail and I've managed to have a cocktail or two tonight. Didnt start drinking again because I physically need one. There really were no withdrawal symptoms. I'm just bored and looked forward to feeling a little numb and high. It does mean that I'm smoking like a chimney,something I wasn't doing when I wasn't drinking.

Anyway. This isn't meant to be a confession of sin or wrong doing. I have no regrets drinking again, but it does offer some questions of how to get out of this extreme isolation. However, it offers no solution.

Mr. Sandman Is arriving.

Can feel myself nodding off. Thank God. It's almost three!